


Desperate Kindness

by Libitina



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Divorce, F/M, Not Beta Read, Wishful Thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-19
Updated: 2007-01-19
Packaged: 2017-12-31 12:56:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1031951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Libitina/pseuds/Libitina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was a brief window between when we knew John Sheppard was divorced and when we met his ex-wife, and that led to discussions on meghanm's journal about why John Sheppard is no longer married, and this fic is totally a result of that, so there are spoilers below.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Desperate Kindness

The mortars in the background sounded like fireworks, if you were drunk enough, tired enough, and sick of this damn war enough. The rescue copter had been called to bring back three bodies today - all three had been identified by their dog tags alone.

This was a good bar, catering to the American soldiers, but there wasn't enough Jamesons to wash the taste of blood and ash from his mouth. When Naila came to him, he could finally let it go.

She made him dance that night, so he thought she was one of the regular girls who were grateful to the soldiers and the soldiers' money - but she sent him home to his bunk alone.

***

He kept doing back, kept looking for the curl of her hair or the sway of her skirt. He despaired of finding her again until three weeks later he was back in the bar trying to wash away the smell of blood and piss and fear from the last two people he had brought back - it had been a land mine, and they might have been better dead - they, too, were identified by their dog tags.

Naila ran her fingers through his hair and kissed his lips. He peeled away her veil and curled his finger in the lock of hair that had been pressed beside the corner of her eye. She bit his lip and claimed his other hand.

That night she surrounded him with blissful forgetfulness, and she let him tell her how the men had cried from the pain and how it wasn't fair that they were being commanded by people with no understanding of tactics.

In the morning, over breakfast, he asked her to tell her one true thing about herself besides her name. She told him that she wanted to leave her country. She told him that in two weeks time, she would be wed to a man she had never met. John bit his lip and looked away.

***

Three days later, he had been to the personnel office and to his commander and had been counseled by a legal adviser and had been back to the personnel office and thrown a chair against the wall trying to explain the urgency of the matter. He had gone back and held Naila's hand and told her that there was nothing he could do because he needed so much paperwork: her birth certificate, the written consent of her parents, certification that she was unmarried, proof of citizenship, certification by a medical examiner, background checks, and tax statements going back as far as he could spit. His head was bowed asking forgiveness, so he could not see her smiling through her tears. She kissed his forehead and he looked up, "I am sure my father will be very pleased to let me marry you. He will think it more advantageous, I am sure. I had not known you felt so deeply for me."

He hadn't even known he felt so deeply, but he believed her.

***

Her father was grim and gruff and reminded John of his own father. Somehow he managed not to tell him that he hated him, didn't respect him, and was leaving him just like mother had. Instead, he left with a single page of fine paper, bearing an thick bold strokes still damp from the writing he could not read telling the United States Air Force that this gentleman trusted Lieutenant John Sheppard with the life of his only daughter.

That night, she pressed him to the bed and swallowed his cock so deeply he forgot his own name and his father's name and his commander's name.

The next morning, though, that commander was still kind enough to assign them separate quarters.

***

The chaplain married them under the desert sun, with a tank providing the only shade to break the vicious heat. Alone and without ceremony, he led her back to their tent and slowly unwound layer after layer of fabric, the closest ones as warm and damp as her body, like peeling away her skin. Every kiss was pure and true.

She taught him her language, and he told her about football. She laughed and said that she already knew about football, but he explained that the Americans had a completely different game. He told her about his family and about liking math. He explained the troop positions as equations and showed her why the limit of the series approached zero instead of infinity - how the plans were flawed. Each day they were more flawed, and she provided him the only peace and succor.

A promotion and months later, she was his best friend and most trusted ally - everything a wife should be.

After he brought back the bodies of his friends, however, she was not there to provide any comfort. She had been led away in handcuffs, her face bare to the wind. It was mentioned at the hearing, that she had been trading information to the militants who had planned the attack on the bridge.

**Author's Note:**

> All the cultural and legal details are from a quick internet search and are a bit improbable.


End file.
